The Inside: Post #3: "If I Just Had a Good Boyfriend For Once I'd be Happy."

I'm not pretty or good enough because no guys ever stay with me.... I know a lot of girls that have fallen into this lie. In my view, the worst thing you could do to your self image is base it off of relationships with guys.  Guys will come and go. Simple as that. And if you put all your self image and happiness in the hands of one guy, you're bound to get crushed.

Girls have a tendency to put their EVERYTHING into a relationship. And I mean everything. When she's talking to or dating a guy, he's all she thinks about. A lot of the time he's the person she bases all of their choices or opinions off of. She spends her every waking moment worrying about when he'll text her next or how long it's been since they last talked. I've known girls that get CRAZY obsessive over what some guys do. You know what I'm talking about. They creep all over that guys facebook wall 24/7... checking what girl he's been talking to and such. Before you know it her grades kind of sink, and all of the sudden her friends aren't as important anymore. Their life all around that one guy. Sometimes it's not as creepy or to that extreme, but my point is girls world easily revolve around another boys. 

Next thing you know, they've ended the relationship and her life is going all down hill from there.  All these thoughts consume her mind like she's not pretty enough... girly enough... tough enough... you name it. They start to doubt themselves. And sometimes, they even try to change who they are to get him back. And when that plan fails, it's off to find another guy so she can get over the other one and feel happy again. NOT.HEALTHY.

You need to find your happiness within yourself [Self confidence, for example.] before you can go out and find it in another person. There's really not any way to leave yourself, so why put your happiness in the hands of someone that can get up and walk out anytime?

*Don't ever think that dating a guy will make your self confidence shoot through the roof. NEWS FLASH: usually never happens. 

*Don't ever say to yourself, "If I just had ONE boyfriend." or "If I just had ONE DECENT boyfriend, I would be happy." 

Now I'm not saying it's bad to have a guy make you happy at all! Of course it's good to have a guy make you happy! Everyone deserves to be happy with someone. This is just a warning to all of you. Make sure you aren't putting your EVERYTHING into a guy because if he leaves, you'll have nothing

Questions/Comments Below!

**I was asked if I would still continue to post even after this English assignment by a few people... It's really up to you guys. If you would like me too, comment and let me know. And maybe if you ever have question about anything The Inside OR The Outside, you can always talk to me. Formspring, tumblr, and facebook are always open ;D

The Inside AND Outside: "Making Friends With The Mirror."

Embrace everything about yourself. Stop worrying about what people think about you. Stop looking in the mirror and think to yourself, "I wish I ______." It's not healthy. You have crazy curly hair? Awesome. Embrace it. You have acne-prone skin? Sweet. So does every other teen on this planet.  You wish you had blue eyes? Well guess what. I'm sure those people with blue eyes want another eye color too.

I lead a small group at my church and I was focusing on self-image. I did an activity where I had each girl come up and write one thing they think makes the perfect girl on a mirror. It was a HUGE mirror. And by the end of the activity, the whole thing was filled. 

Thin. Blond. Popular. Beautiful. Athletic.  Personality everyone loves.. Big boobs. Has a boyfriend. Confident. Straight white teeth. Has own car. Doesn't have zits. Has loads of cute clothes... The list went on forever.

I held up the mirror to them to they could see the image of who they are-- and what the world says they need to be.  I continued on with my lesson and told them this... 

• Nobody can fit this image. There is not one girl on this earth that could fit that image. 
• Beauty will fade. We're gonna get old. We're gonna get wrinkly and have snow white hair. So instead of obsessing over what we look like on the OUTSIDE-- we need to focus more on the INSIDE. Because that's the only thing that will last. Don't we all know of a person who has her "Outside" image looking perfect but on the inside she's nasty? She has her appearance all figured out perfectly but when it comes to her personality, it couldn't get any worse.  She makes fun of people all the time, and she's constantly in drama. This is just an example of how much more important the inside is than the out. You can look good, but if you aren't pretty on the inside, it's a turn off to many people.
• Even the people we may think is the most beautiful person out there has insecurities.  That girl at school who seems to have it all figured out-- I promise you is struggling to.  Don't think that looking like another person will make it all better. I have a lot of friends who are GORGEOUS inside AND out but they still have really low self esteem-- its unbelievable sometimes how such an amazing person could still think they're anything but beautiful.
• We were made different for a reason. Nobody is going to be the same! You were born an original-- don't die a copy.
  
  At the end, I told them one last final thing.  There's only one possible way you could be every single thing that you listed on that mirror. And as they listened closer and got more excited to hear the secret, I took out a huge picture and slapped it over the mirror.

The key to beauty is learning to embrace everything about yourself-- even the 'bad,' and learning to be worried more about our personality [ex. how we treat people] than our appearance. Don't be a Barbie. Besides, how many clones of Barbie to those factories make a day?

**I'm not trying to tell you guys that I'm perfect and have life all figured out. I struggle with everything I post about just as much as anyone else sometimes!

The Outside: Post #2: "My makeup tutorial!"

Well, by popular demand, this is how I do my makeup. I had to edit it down to 9 minutes it was like 20 something at first. Any questions/comments post below!

The Outside: Post #1: "HOW do you get your hair so STRAIGHT and SOFT Emily???"

*Not the greatest pictures- yes I know. But I just needed some pics showing my hair ^_^*

You'd be surprised how often I get asked this question.  You'd be even more surprised to know that I don't use any special-expensive product and that I don't do some extra long-complicated process, either. 

My Shower Process

1. Shampoo ONLY the roots of hair. [My natural hair is VERY oily so I really don't need to all shampoo to the end of my hair.] Rinse.
2. Condition ONLY the middle part and ends of hair. [You really don't need to condition the roots of your hair-- shampoo usually gets the job done. But after you put the conditioner at the middle and ends of your hair, you can run the excess product through any knotty parts if necessary.]
3. DO.NOT.RINSE.THE.CONDITIONER.OUT.YET! Instead, flip your hair around and tie it in a high bun so it's up away from your body. Keep it in this bun for about 4 minutes+ [This is usually when I wash my body and such.]
4. Take out bun and rinse.
5. Rinse with cold water! [I try to put the water on as cold as I can bare. This helps keep away the frizz-- especially in the summer.]
6. Use a comb when you get out of the shower it's much healthier for your hair. If you use a brush, it can damage it.

*I take my showers at night. One, because I'm too lazy to get up an hour earlier to take a shower. And two, I hate blow drying my hair. Makes my arms hurts and I think it makes my hair frizzier. 

My Straightening Process

1. When I get up in the morning to straighten my hair, I split my hair into four sections. [My layers] This really helps it so you get every piece of hair straightened.
2. *USE HEAT PROTECTION* I cannot explain how important it is that you use heat protection. Especially if you're blow drying, straightening, or curling  your hair regularly. I use heat on my hair almost everyday. If you don't use a heat protector, split ends will form faster and worse. Your hair will start to look damaged and very frizzy. Even if you don't use heat on your hair regularly, use heat protection! I know what you're thinking, though. "Well IIII don't use heat protection and my hair looks perfectly fine!" Just wait a couple years... it'll catch up. Trust me. [I've used Dove Heat Damage Therapy for as long as I can remember-- though they don't sell it anymore :P I recommend using Chi Silk Infusion it's a little  pricer but it works really well.]
3. I always use my comb while straightening my hair. I hate to have to use brushes. They tend to make my hair static-ey and it makes my hair feel greasy. 

Like I said, it's not complicated at all. Just a few tips and tricks here and there that've helped me. Just remember we all have different hair types so while this may work for me, it may not work for you.

Do you have any tips and tricks on how to keep your hair healthy? What products do you use that you really recommend for other people? 

*I know I said I wanted to put up a video tutorial but I didn't have time. Hopefully this weekend i'll be able to do my makeup tutorial. Just let me know what else you'll like to see so I don't run out of ideas!

Suggestions?

The next post I want to do will be on appearance advice.  I've been asked by a lot of people how I do my makeup, and how I do my hair... a lot of different questions like that. If you have any suggestions, comment and let me know what you'd like to see. ^_^

***I'll probably make a video tutorial on how I do my makeup and hair.

The Inside: Post #2 "Formspring-- Let The Hate Begin."

What makes a person in school popular? I've heard this question many times before and I've asked multiple for their opinion on it.


Examples of What I Heard...

• Hot.
• Nice Body.
• Nice Clothes.
• Lots of friends.
• Hot.
• Nice body.
• Hot.
• Funny.

Today, I was planning on doing a post on physical beauty.  But just yesterday something happened that made me want to change my plan right away.

I'm sure you're all familiar with formspring-- that website where people can anonymously post comments about you or ask you questions.... A lot of the time it's usually just hate comments from people. Yesterday, I logged on to check if I had any new messages in my inbox, only to find this...

"you're ******* ugly. no wonder no one likes you. you think you're so cool but really you're a freak. get a life."


First thoughts? Um... ouch. At first I didn't even want to respond.  I just wanted to delete it.  Then something made me want to reply and say something thought would hopefully keep them from saying something like that to me-- and anyone else ever again. ...But I wanted to say it in the nicest way I possibly could. With a lot of editing done... this was what I ended up with...


"public display of hate? well, don't you seem like a nice person... congrats. you just made me feel bad about myself. are you trying to tell me i need to be more like you? that you're the one everyone likes? the cool one? well you're right. YOU'RE the cool one. EVERYONE cool has these judgmental opinions about people they don't even know. but quite frankly, because that's what cool is, i don't want any part of it. no one likes me because i'm ugly? well, isn't that nice of them. im sure they have fun in their group of hot friends. no one likes me because i think i'm cool? no thank you. you're getting the wrong idea. i'm just happy. i have no desire to be "hot" OR "cool" because the reason i was put on this earth was NOT to be like everyone else. i'm gonna continue to be myself. my own ugly, freak self. but i'll be praying for you. because im a freak, that's what freaks do best, and THAT'S what i was put on this earth to do. if you need me, im here. you might stuggle looking past my freak self and ugliness though."


I could've went off on them. Could've dropped the f bomb a couple of times. People told me I had every right to bite back harder.  But I didn't. I just spoke the complete truth.
Remember this-- trying to be cool and fit in [popular] will just leave yourself feeling empty inside.  You won't feel like you really accomplished anything by satisfying what you feel everyone ELSE wants you to be. Especially since most of the time in high school, the person everyone else wants you to be isn't always the healthiest... nicest person on the planet. And newsflash- you can't satisfy everyone. Just look at how I took my rejection and hate-- I flipped it around into something better. 


What I said fit my last blog post-- how being cool or popular a lot of the time meant you had to be mean or judgmental. But love beats hate. Every.single.time. Just think about my response.... To my surprise, after I responded I got a HUGE amount of comments from friends backing me up and encouraging me. The coolest part was I didn't even tell them about it or ask them to post anything. I don't need to be cool to have friends. I don't need to be hot to have friends. I'm just me. And I'm satisfied with being me. ...and I'm hoping at the same time 'myself' isn't a half bad person. 

Low Self Esteem?

Low Self Esteem? Click here :)

The Inside: Post #1. "The Definition Of Funny Has Been Changed"

What makes a person in school popular? I've heard this question many times before and I've asked multiple for their opinion on it.

Examples of What I Heard...

• Hot. 
• Nice body. 
• Nice clothes. 
• Lots of friends. 
• Hot. 
• Nice body. 
• Hot. 
• Funny. 

And funny, isn't necessarily a good thing. What do I mean exactly? Let's see...

[Dictionary.com]

fun·ny1    [fuhn-ee] adjective,
–adjective
1.
providing fun; causing amusement or laughter; amusing;comical: a funny remark; a funny person.
2.
attempting to amuse; facetious:

VS.

judg·men·tal   [juhj-men-tl]
–adjective
1.
involving the use or exercise of judgment.
2.
tending to make moral judgments

Are you getting my idea here? There's a fine line between funny and judgmental. Not many people seem to know the difference, though. From what I've seen, you should make fun of that weird kid if you want to continue to be in that group of friends. Or, maybe you just need to make fun of that weird kid just to TALK to that group of friends. It's a constant battle back and forth. To me, it seems like the only way to get attention and be that "funny" person, is to be the judgmental person a lot of the time.

Think about it. How many times a day do you hear one whole side of a class room burst out laughing because of a comment someone made about someone else?

You don't even need to be popular to have an issue with humor vs. judgement. We all do it! I've done it, I'm sure I'll probably do it again. I'm just here to let it be known the impact wanting to be "popular" can have on people.

And there ARE ways to be popular without having to be judgmental! I know plenty of great people who are considered part of the popular crowd because they're just plain nice. There ARE ways to be funny without being judgmental.

I understand. We all just want a good laugh sometimes. And we all want to fit in. I believe that if we change the guidelines on fitting in, high school would be such a better place.

[And here comes the cheesy lines...]

I truly believe it's time to change the view on being popular. While being popular can build you up, at the same time it can break down others.

Comments? What do you think? Do you agree that a lot of the time humor is passed with judgement?

Tis' ma blog ;D

You've probably read the subtitle for my blog by now, so there's no need to explain what this blog is all about.

But hey, I'm gonna do it anyways. <3

I've always loved stuff that had to do with makeup, hair, and design. And helping people 'find' themselves and understand what true beauty is, has always been one of my favorite topics to talk about with my friends. I love all things beautiful. So what better subject to do a blog on? I'll be posting anything relevant to beauty- inside and out.  Meaning, appearance on the outside, personality on the inside.

I'll be posting 2 times a week, but probably more.

I have my formspring link in the sidebar, so if you have question about anything just drop them by in there ;) But don't leave all the hater comments there, please <3 I didn't make this blog to tell people how to be like me. I'm just here to help. ...and get a good grade in English.

The link to my personal blog is in the sidebar too.  Click here if you're too lazy to find the link to my blog.

Don't forget to comment on not just my blog but other people's too because fyi- commenting on other people's blog is part of our grade too ;)