The Inside: Post #3: "If I Just Had a Good Boyfriend For Once I'd be Happy."

I'm not pretty or good enough because no guys ever stay with me.... I know a lot of girls that have fallen into this lie. In my view, the worst thing you could do to your self image is base it off of relationships with guys.  Guys will come and go. Simple as that. And if you put all your self image and happiness in the hands of one guy, you're bound to get crushed.

Girls have a tendency to put their EVERYTHING into a relationship. And I mean everything. When she's talking to or dating a guy, he's all she thinks about. A lot of the time he's the person she bases all of their choices or opinions off of. She spends her every waking moment worrying about when he'll text her next or how long it's been since they last talked. I've known girls that get CRAZY obsessive over what some guys do. You know what I'm talking about. They creep all over that guys facebook wall 24/7... checking what girl he's been talking to and such. Before you know it her grades kind of sink, and all of the sudden her friends aren't as important anymore. Their life all around that one guy. Sometimes it's not as creepy or to that extreme, but my point is girls world easily revolve around another boys. 

Next thing you know, they've ended the relationship and her life is going all down hill from there.  All these thoughts consume her mind like she's not pretty enough... girly enough... tough enough... you name it. They start to doubt themselves. And sometimes, they even try to change who they are to get him back. And when that plan fails, it's off to find another guy so she can get over the other one and feel happy again. NOT.HEALTHY.

You need to find your happiness within yourself [Self confidence, for example.] before you can go out and find it in another person. There's really not any way to leave yourself, so why put your happiness in the hands of someone that can get up and walk out anytime?

*Don't ever think that dating a guy will make your self confidence shoot through the roof. NEWS FLASH: usually never happens. 

*Don't ever say to yourself, "If I just had ONE boyfriend." or "If I just had ONE DECENT boyfriend, I would be happy." 

Now I'm not saying it's bad to have a guy make you happy at all! Of course it's good to have a guy make you happy! Everyone deserves to be happy with someone. This is just a warning to all of you. Make sure you aren't putting your EVERYTHING into a guy because if he leaves, you'll have nothing

Questions/Comments Below!

**I was asked if I would still continue to post even after this English assignment by a few people... It's really up to you guys. If you would like me too, comment and let me know. And maybe if you ever have question about anything The Inside OR The Outside, you can always talk to me. Formspring, tumblr, and facebook are always open ;D

The Inside AND Outside: "Making Friends With The Mirror."

Embrace everything about yourself. Stop worrying about what people think about you. Stop looking in the mirror and think to yourself, "I wish I ______." It's not healthy. You have crazy curly hair? Awesome. Embrace it. You have acne-prone skin? Sweet. So does every other teen on this planet.  You wish you had blue eyes? Well guess what. I'm sure those people with blue eyes want another eye color too.

I lead a small group at my church and I was focusing on self-image. I did an activity where I had each girl come up and write one thing they think makes the perfect girl on a mirror. It was a HUGE mirror. And by the end of the activity, the whole thing was filled. 

Thin. Blond. Popular. Beautiful. Athletic.  Personality everyone loves.. Big boobs. Has a boyfriend. Confident. Straight white teeth. Has own car. Doesn't have zits. Has loads of cute clothes... The list went on forever.

I held up the mirror to them to they could see the image of who they are-- and what the world says they need to be.  I continued on with my lesson and told them this... 

• Nobody can fit this image. There is not one girl on this earth that could fit that image. 
• Beauty will fade. We're gonna get old. We're gonna get wrinkly and have snow white hair. So instead of obsessing over what we look like on the OUTSIDE-- we need to focus more on the INSIDE. Because that's the only thing that will last. Don't we all know of a person who has her "Outside" image looking perfect but on the inside she's nasty? She has her appearance all figured out perfectly but when it comes to her personality, it couldn't get any worse.  She makes fun of people all the time, and she's constantly in drama. This is just an example of how much more important the inside is than the out. You can look good, but if you aren't pretty on the inside, it's a turn off to many people.
• Even the people we may think is the most beautiful person out there has insecurities.  That girl at school who seems to have it all figured out-- I promise you is struggling to.  Don't think that looking like another person will make it all better. I have a lot of friends who are GORGEOUS inside AND out but they still have really low self esteem-- its unbelievable sometimes how such an amazing person could still think they're anything but beautiful.
• We were made different for a reason. Nobody is going to be the same! You were born an original-- don't die a copy.
  
  At the end, I told them one last final thing.  There's only one possible way you could be every single thing that you listed on that mirror. And as they listened closer and got more excited to hear the secret, I took out a huge picture and slapped it over the mirror.

The key to beauty is learning to embrace everything about yourself-- even the 'bad,' and learning to be worried more about our personality [ex. how we treat people] than our appearance. Don't be a Barbie. Besides, how many clones of Barbie to those factories make a day?

**I'm not trying to tell you guys that I'm perfect and have life all figured out. I struggle with everything I post about just as much as anyone else sometimes!